today I stepped in poo

Today I stepped in poo. I had a long day at work, an even longer day after work, and when I finally got home I smelled poo in my room. Quickly I realized there was fresh poo on my shoe, and my shoe was now in my closet touching other shoes. I pulled my shoe out of my closet and gagged twice from the poo smell. Then, holding my shoe as far away from my body as possible while plugging my nose, I asked my roommate what she thought the best solution was to getting rid of the poo, since most normal, suburbianite Americans find the closest hose in their backyard and spray their shoe raw. I don't have a hose. I don't have a backyard. And if I did have a hose and a backyard in NYC it would likely be smaller than a shoe so I wouldn't have room to spray my pooey shoe. The best thing I could do in this situation was to take my shoe to the street, spray it down with 409 and then tap off the poo. I then wiped my shoe with paper towels and had to bring the paper towels back into our house to put in a trash can. My final step involved swishing the the sole of my shoe around in our only toilet, which is fitting, because toilets are made for poo. I never thought I would not know what to do when getting poo off my shoe!